For years I felt blocked, held back.
There was a near constant ache inside me to be creative, but I couldn’t get it out. It was trapped. I was trapped.
I was certain – certain – that if I could just get out of my own way, I would free the natural, authentic artist inside me and great works would pour out.
That was until I realized the truth:
Authenticity is bullshit.
“The toddler is authentic. The hallmark of the unmindful is to react, to lash out, to spend time with no purpose or measure… A tantrum is authentic, everything else we do with intention.” – Seth Godin
That might be hard to read – you might even want to argue against that truth. I know I felt that way at first.
But think about it.
How often have you tried to “let go,” “get out of your own way,” and “be authentic” as an artist?
How many times have you told yourself that if you could just be the “you” you really are inside, your problems would vanish?
You’ll stop self-sabotaging.
You’ll wake up earlier, get more done.
Your art will spill out of you, unleashed, the dam finally burst.
But if being your real self is just about “getting out of your own way,” then why is that so hard to do?
And if your “authentic self” really is the prolific, un-self-conscious genius you’ve always dreamed of being, then why would you ever sabotage that?
Your “authentic self” wouldn’t procrastinate or sleep late or suffer something so pedestrian as “writer’s block,” right?
Thank goodness your “authentic self” isn’t passionate about binging Cheetos and marathons of The Office.
Just imagine how unlucky that would be…
“I understand there’s a guy inside me who wants to lay in bed, smoke weed all day, and watch cartoons and old movies. My whole life is a series of stratagems to avoid, and outwit, that guy.” – Anthony Bourdain
The Lie of the Natural Artist
Being your “true self” isn’t easy, because we’ve confused our “true selves” with the best possible versions of ourselves.
We’ve imagined, or been told outright, that at our core we are the perfection we long for. We were born perfect, it’s the world and its traumas that have corrupted us, twisted us, and put us in our own way. If we could only “let go” and be truly authentic, we would be okay again. We would regain perfection.
This is a lie.
Your “true self” loves Cheetos and The Office. It loves sleeping in and procrastinating. So does mine. So say we all.
Why?
Because the alternatives are hard. They take work, intention, effort, struggle, and more often than not, some pain.
Evolution made us creatures of easy calories and least resistance. We do not paint, or write, or act, or make, because it is in our nature.
Then why do we want to make anything at all?
Because deep down some part of us finds ease and least resistance boring, frustrating, and unfulfilling.
This is where the confusion comes from:
The urge to make art is authentic; the process itself is not.
To say “I don’t feel like it today” is “authentic;” to be a creator – a working artist – is not.
To sit down to your work regardless of your mood or your inspiration is not authentic.
To make art is not authentic.
But then why do we ever buy into the lie of “authenticity?” Why do we want to believe that there is a perfect, authentic self inside us that longs to be set free?
Simple.
It’s because:
Authenticity is a Great Place to Hide
Authenticity is an out.
It lets us off the hook.
Don’t start until you’re ready.
Don’t try too hard.
Don’t care too much.
Either you “have it” or you don’t. Either they’ll “get it” or they won’t.
When your art is “authentic” you can hide behind your whims, your first ideas, your rough drafts.
If your art is criticized, it’s because they just didn’t “get it.” They didn’t get you. They aren’t deep enough, clever enough, well versed enough, to really get what you were doing.
Their loss.
And that’s if your art is ever made at all because “authenticity” excuses not showing up.
It forgives inconsistency and excuses laziness under the guise of not feeling “inspired” or not being “in the mood.”
It underwrites off-days and rewards capriciousness. As Seth Godin says in The Practice:
“Your audience doesn’t want your authentic voice, they want your consistent voice… You don’t want an authentic heart surgeon. I don’t care if you’re having a fight with your landlord, do the surgery as if today’s your best day. Or even an authentic chef – I don’t care that you don’t feel like cooking Mexican tonight. It’s on the menu, and that’s what I ordered.” – Seth Godin
Freedom, spontaneity, flow, and play can occur in the creative process, and it’s lovely when they do, but they are not required nor should they be expected.
Art that is made only when it is fun, only when it flows, only when you feel like it is called a hobby.
And hobbies are wonderful things – necessary things. Everyone should have at least one avenue of unfocused play where you allow yourself the freedom of not measuring your progress, of simply doing something for the sheer fun of it.
But if you’ve made it this far, you’re probably someone who takes their work seriously, who intends to make a living of your art, if you don’t already.
You are someone who strives to improve your work, to grow as a creative.
You are attempting mastery.
That type of work is far from a hobby. That type of work is art. Be you writer or painter, surgeon or chef, that is Art with a capital A.
If life is an art, as in any art form, one can approach perfection, but one can never arrive. As for personal authenticity, some never bother with it, some discover it in certain actions, some strive to approach it in both life and art, but very few ever arrive. – Dr Ben G. Yacobi
To live and work with inauthenticity is to confront the idea that perhaps you are capable of more than simply “being yourself.”
Perhaps even greatness.
But that greatness is found only down a long, winding road filled with evidence of your inadequacy, a path littered with bad art that was supposed to be good and work on which you tried your hardest and fell far short of your ideal.
No wonder we hide behind authenticity.
Be More Than “Yourself”
Your work, your art, requires inauthenticity – or said another way, it requires intentionality.
The systems and frameworks required to produce consistent work – work that can be learned from, improved upon, and perhaps even mastered – are not natural.
They are not authentic.
That is the point of them.
The work you want to do is not easy. It was never easy. It does not come naturally to you, to me, or to anyone else. It always required focused choice, attention, and intention.
Do not hide behind the ideas of ease or flow. Do not chase that lie.
Do not confuse “authenticity” with honesty.
To live out loud is to fight your nature. It is to be inauthentic. And inauthenticity requires more courage than “being yourself” ever could.